I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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