I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I had to cum in my sink.
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