So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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