i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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