i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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