This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize