The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Randomize
