he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
