I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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