I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm drive I can fine osifer
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize