My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
