She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
