I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
