Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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