I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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