I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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