At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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