I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
