Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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