he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
