just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
