Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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