i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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