i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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