Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
