I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
