five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled