ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
