The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize