I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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