I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My life is pants optional.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize