He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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