Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize