New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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