He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
