her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
