i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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