i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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