i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
