i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
