She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.