Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx