I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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