All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.