she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.