I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize