Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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