but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
