real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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