Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize