This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
