I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
