Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize