Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
