I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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