I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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