Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize