I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
