Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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