Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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