last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
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Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
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I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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