You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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